Venting...

Now that my work weekend is done, I still feel frustrated and angry about the situations that happened. It has always been hard for me to forget or forgive very easily; actually, I hold a grudge like a bull, especially when I know I am in the right. But, the problem is that I am now on the first day of a week long vacation and this same shit keeps racing through my mind: What could I have said? would it made a difference even if what I said made sense to that particular stupid person? My coworker and really good friend said it wouldn't. She always says that person is an idiot , and  will get hers in return---just wait.  She has such patience!  

Yes, I did overeat again last night: the stuff that is on the diet plan, but nonetheless more calories than I needed.

I did go for a walk today, and will probably go for another tonight, so I can start getting back on that path of feeling good about myself.  

Ok, venting felt good.  Now I want to go to another subject:  planning or doing.

I sometimes wonder when I go on these diets, if I am simply caught up in the list making aspect rather than the carry through.  For example: I listed all my sodium, sugar, fats, etc. instead of trusting the diet plan, which has worked in the past.  I find that when I am listing things I should do and plan to do, I end up not doing them.  It is like a never ending grocery list and the store just keeps getting bigger, and more overwhelming.  Next step: start doing.  Was that a listed item?

Heavy...

I have been watching this A&E series about morbidly obese people. Although I am not to that point, I can relate to their love of food and reasons for eating it.  I have learned quite a bit from watching these stories.  For instance, I always seem to make excuses for why I can't exert myself more physically.  The trainers on this show have these people doing very strenuous routines. It is amazing how far the body, even a heavy body can be pushed, and I don't have the diabetes or high blood pressure that these people have.  It really does give me inspiration to push myself more, with no more excuses for why I can't do something.

I really think this blog thing is keeping me honest.  I believe in the past I have always been able to just shove things under the rug.  I am now holding myself accountable for every decision I make--good or bad.